Until about five years ago, I’d never heard of impostor syndrome. I constantly felt like a fraud — when I was in law school, in negotiations post-law school, in teaching workshops to senior government officials — and constantly overprepared to try to, well, fake it. Reading Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In was an “aha” moment, learning not only that there’s a name for how I feel, but also realizing that many people feel the same way.
I’m talking about impostor syndrome today not because it’s particularly relevant to intellectual property law practice, but to help normalize it and provide some advice from someone who still struggles, but is working to overcome it. Impostor syndrome has come up on ATL before, but here’s my take, including one IP-related anecdote. While many people have fallen victim to impostor syndrome, studies show that it has a deeper impact on women and people of color (raises hand). I think it’s important to know that there are others just like you who feel this way, even if they project themselves with confidence.
Most of my life, I’ve had a fear of failure and was constantly worried in high school that my teachers would eventually catch on that I wasn’t that smart. I felt like a fraud in my AP classes and was certain that I was going to fail every exam I took. This fear followed me to law school.
True story: my 1L summer, I was a TA for one of my favorite professors. My study carrel faced the hallway where I could see professors and the dean of our law school walking by. For the first month of summer, whenever I saw the dean pass by, I would duck in my study carrel and hope she wouldn’t notice me because I was certain that she was looking for me to tell me that I’d failed all my spring finals and was being asked to leave. Obviously, that didn’t happen and I remember when my last grade finally came out being simultaneously relieved and feeling like I pulled the wool over my Con Law professor’s eyes.
I thought that these feelings would magically disappear once I had my law degree and bar admittance in hand, but that was a particularly dumb assumption. Impostor syndrome only magnified. I was thrust into positions where I was the only attorney on staff and was terrified of screwing things up. I was asked to teach workshops on copyright and patents to senior-level government officials in other countries. I wrote and filed numerous amicus briefs — generally without assistance or feedback — including to SCOTUS. All the while, I felt like a huge fraud.
To make matters worse — and get ready, because here’s the only IP you’re getting from today’s column — I had never taken patent law while in law school so I clearly had no idea what I was talking about when writing about gene patents, scope of patentability, patent linkage, the Bayh-Dole Act or the Hatch-Waxman Act. Not only had I failed to take patent law, but I didn’t even have a hard sciences background (remember, you don’t need a hard sciences background to practice IP; you do need it for very specific types of patent practice, like patent prosecution, but not all patent law). I started college with a mechanical engineering major, but quickly switched to English literature. What business did I have advocating for patent positions, much less teaching anyone about patent systems? I was around other patent attorneys who majored in chemistry or bio-engineering, people who seemed to read a patent claim with ease, and seriously questioned what I had gotten myself into. And while I’ve worked with some amazing women and people of color in this field, men (particularly white men) dominate this field (see also the patent gender gap and minority patent gender gap) and I often felt out of place in my career.
Ultimately, I had to learn that much of how I felt didn’t have a strong basis in reality, but instead was insecurity and fear of failure nagging in the back of my mind. Finding out about impostor syndrome allowed me to recognize the problem and take steps to overcome it, though it still affects me — particularly when I’m looking for a new job and I start questioning my credentials and achievements.
So what are my tips for handling impostor syndrome?
Fake it until you make it. This has always been my go-to way for handling impostor syndrome, though it doesn’t always overcome it. At least when I fake it, other people aren’t aware of my insecurities. They think I belong, they invite me give keynote speeches, or seek my advice. Faking it covers up impostor syndrome and, if you’re lucky, one day you’ll realize you actually have made it.
Overprepare. This goes hand-in-hand with faking it, but I used to spend hours upon hours preparing for each and every presentation I gave. Even for a relatively short 15-minute presentation where I knew the material cold, I’d pull all-nighters overpreparing. I still overprepare, though I’ve learned to scale back a bit particularly when I’m giving the same presentation over and over again.
Enjoy learning. Learning is a great skill for any lawyer, but fo those who struggle with impostor syndrome, continuous consumption of information can help overcome those nagging feelings of doubt. I love learning new things and will dive into new topics, consuming all the information I can until I feel a little less like an impostor.
Accept that no one has all the answers. Part of my overzealous preparation methods have stemmed from the fear that someone will ask me a question that I don’t know the answer to, and then I’ll be exposed as a fraud. I’ve learned over the years that no one has all the answers, even some of the smartest people I’ve met. What smart and successful people have shown me, though, is that it’s okay to say, “I don’t know the answer to that, but let me do some research and get back to you.” They gain credibility by admitting what they don’t know, but have enough confidence to do the research and come up with the right answer. Just because you don’t know everything doesn’t mean you’re an impostor.
Know you’re not alone. Knowing that Sheryl Sandberg experienced impostor syndrome helped me in understanding that highly successful people can feel like a fraud too. Since then, I’ve been made aware of numerous other high-profile women who have admitted to impostor syndrome, including SCOTUS Justice Sonia Sotomayor, U.S. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, and comedian Tina Fey. Whenever I’m feeling particularly down, I remind myself of these smart, successful women and know that impostor syndrome isn’t tied to reality or outside perceptions.
Accept failure as learning opportunities. I had a pretty unhealthy fear of failure growing up and didn’t realize how great failure can be, particularly the relatively small missteps. Rather than becoming dejected or spiraling out of control, understand that failures are a great opportunity to learn and grow.
Ask for honest evaluations. Constructive feedback helps me become better at what I do and every bit of knowledge, every tip on presentation delivery, every suggestion on writing style has improved some aspect of my work. Asking for evaluations helps me see my true weak spots and allows me to work on improving in these areas, rather than dwelling on generalized feelings of insecurity. Regular feedback is also helpful because I don’t go through a whole semester, or whole year or whole project, or whatever other measurement of time not knowing where I stand. The not knowing often contributes to impostor syndrome for me, so when I get honest feedback I can fix any problems that may exist, or be confident that everyone is happy with how the project is progressing.
Take advantage of opportunities thrown your way. As an Asian woman, I have been asked to be on panels precisely because of my gender and race. Early on in my career, it fed my impostor syndrome as I often assumed, and sometimes had confirmed, that I was chosen to bring “diversity” to a panel. As a 25-year-old speaking on panels with white men in their 50s about patents, copyright, and trade, I was terrified. I would overprepare feeling like I didn’t belong, but over time learned to appreciate that these opportunities could help boost my career or, at the very least, help me practice my presentation skills and learn from people I respected. Rather than dwelling on the fact that some may have viewed a white man as being more qualified, I started to focus on using the particular opportunity to my advantage.
While I’m by no means an expert in confidence-building or impostor syndrome, being 10 years out of law school I’m in a much different place than I was at the start of my career. If you suffer from impostor syndrome, remember: you are not alone.
Krista L. Cox is a policy attorney who has spent her career working for non-profit organizations and associations. She has expertise in copyright, patent, and intellectual property enforcement law, as well as international trade. She currently works for a non-profit member association advocating for balanced copyright. You can reach her at kristay@gmail.com.
Facing Impostor Syndrome As A Minority Woman In The Male-Dominated IP World curated from Above the Law
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