Welcome to the latest installment of The Struggle, a series where we examine the mental health and social issues that students and recent graduates encounter during the oftentimes grueling law school and associate experience. We are posting these stories because sometimes what law students and recent graduates need is to know that they’re not alone in their pain. Sometimes what law students and recent graduates need is to know that they’ve got a friend who is willing to share not just in their triumphs, but also in their struggles. These are real messages from real readers.
If these issues resonate with you, please reach out to us. Your stories need to be heard. You can email us, text us at (646) 820-8477, or tweet us @atlblog. We will share your stories anonymously. You may be able to help a law student or recent law school graduate who needs to know that someone else has been there before and survived.
I am an associate at a small firm. I have been here since finishing law school several years ago and have not had a raise or bonus since then. Every year, the attorneys have a retreat where we go to conduct firm business (in reality, the partners have an opportunity to get blasted and complain about staff, with a little work on the side including associate evaluations). Every year, I am told that I am just shy of where I need to be to be eligible for a bonus. I ask every year where I need to be the next year to earn a bonus, they give me a number, and the next year, it’s still not enough. I have taken on an ever-increasing number of non-billable duties at the partners’ request, but those major sucks on my productivity get no accounting in calculating bonuses.
The partners regularly bill for the work that their paralegals and associates do then slash hours for doing the work they actually did for their staff. They then complain that the staff cannot get enough time billed. I know of paralegals who have been fired for this reason. Being a paralegal for one partner in particular is a death sentence at this firm.
As an associate, I have had entire days’ worth of billable time wiped away (while the partner’s billing for the work that I did was left untouched); when asked why, I received a less-than-convincing explanation that the client expected a certain level of billing and I would do the same when I became a partner.
I am tired of this. I have already started looking for a new job. Unfortunately, this is a small community. If I look too actively, it will get back to my bosses, and they are likely to fire me on the spot. They expect unwavering loyalty to them even though it is not reciprocated. After other associates and staff members have left, I have heard the partners denigrate their former employees (and former partners) so horribly I cannot imagine what they will say when I am gone. If they found out one of their associates was looking for another job, it would not go over well.
I would love to get as far away from this firm as I can. I do not know right now why I even went to law school.
Most law schools have counseling and psychological services resources that students and graduates can turn to if they are in crisis or would like counseling, even after hours. If these services are not available at your school, and if you or someone you know is depressed and in need of help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) or a lawyer assistance program in your state (don’t be fooled by the name; these programs also provide services to law students). Remember that you are loved, so please reach out if you need assistance, before it’s too late.
Staci Zaretsky is a senior editor at Above the Law, where she’s worked since 2011. She’d love to hear from you, so please feel free to email her with any tips, questions, comments, or critiques. You can follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.
That Moment When The Partners Are Making Your Life A Living Hell curated from Above the Law
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