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Someone says: “No matter how strong your case, you have a 10 percent chance of losing any trial.”
Your reaction: “How many times must I hear this in my life? Aargh.”
“Discovery is expensive.”
Aargh!
“We can’t estimate the cost of defending this case, because we don’t know how our opponent will react.”
Aaargh!!
“Courts rarely grant motions to dismiss.”
Aaarrgh!!
“We prefer to disclose the fewest documents possible.”
Aaaarrgh!!
“This budget is only an estimate.”
AAaaarrgh!!
“Juries are unpredictable.”
AAAaarrgh!!
“We conducted an investigation by looking at documents and interviewing witnesses.”
AAAaarrgh!!!
“Cases rarely go to trial.”
AAAAaarrgh!!!
“What distinguishes our firm is the quality of our lawyers and our collegiality.”
AAAAAarrgh!!!
“Their settlement demand will come down as we approach trial.”
AAAAAarrgh!!!
“We shouldn’t bluff. If we threaten to do it, then we must do it.”
AAAAAarrgh!!!
“You have to be careful; people sometimes write stupid emails.”
AAAAAAarrgh!!!
“In-house lawyers wear two hats — one business and one legal.”
AAAAAAAargh!!!
“In their opposition to summary judgment, they’ll probably argue that there are disputed issues of fact.”
AAAAAAAarrgh!!!!
“My partners are some of the finest lawyers you’ll ever work with.”
AAAAAAAAarrgh!!!!!
“Trials are expensive.”
AAAAAAAArrgh!!!!!
“Unlike other firms, we staff cases efficiently.”
AAAAAAARrgh!!!!!
“We don’t want to pay that much to settle, and we don’t want to run the risk of losing at trial.”
AAAAAAAARRRGH!!!!!!!
(If you give this type of advice to your client, be careful. He may still be working, even though he should have retired long ago.)
Mark Herrmann spent 17 years as a partner at a leading international law firm and is now deputy general counsel at a large international company. He is the author of The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Practicing Law and Inside Straight: Advice About Lawyering, In-House And Out, That Only The Internet Could Provide (affiliate links). You can reach him by email at inhouse@abovethelaw.com.
How To Tell When You Should Retire curated from Above the Law
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